Should you become suddenly and violently ill with a new strain of flu virus your local pediatrician will not have the funds to access the equipment necessary to scan your bodily functions. You will be required for public safety to go to your closest hospital with an emergency room. Nothing could excite you more. Thanks to free market liberalism going to the emergency room makes visiting State offices to file for licenses seem like Heaven on Earth in comparison.
After checking in and having your vital signs taken by two to three people who look like they’d rather be anywhere else in existence you will be deemed, “Not in immediate threat of death,” and placed in a waiting pen with the rest of the living. You are free to leave the waiting pen at any given time, but you will probably have to repeat the process at some point. Hours will pass and your fellows will give you a list of their ailments and how many how longs they spent in the same place you now are. Raise your voice to an attendant. The look they give you suggest you have now been deemed, “Hostile, still no danger of death, and should be ignored.”
Eventually you will be removed and place in a solitary waiting pen. You will be scanned by a slightly more energetic attendant, and asked the same questions you have already answered. When a doctor finally sees you a machine will scan you and tell the doctor what it believes your illness is. Humor will not be tolerated. The doctor then uses a combination of divination and basic vocational training to translate the machine’s output and relay the course of action with the highest percentage chance of a positive outcome. You will them be alerted to a series of pharmaceuticals you are expected to place inside your body. Payment will be deducted automatically.
