1. Quartering

    In order to continue with entitlement programs, without burdening the wealthy with extra taxes, corporations have the ability to bid for housing contracts from The State. These yearly agreements allow them to be inserted into every citizen’s home and personal devices.

    You wake up and Google records the time of day to the nanosecond. It CCs The State, and adds it to a chart of your sleep cycle for the last year. Ambien ads race across your television while your listen to the morning news. When you get to work and see an ad for Norelco razors on your workstation homepage, you picture the Gillette razor sitting on the counter at home, and imagine slitting your wrists. Google quits advertising for a few hours.  It understands your pain because it lives where you live, and it doesn’t want to be homeless.

    You bring home a date for sexual intercourse. Ever eager to learn more about your preferences, Google will invoke the Droit de Cuissage, and send a machine to pleasure it for you.  Your date doesn’t mind, it’s not like this is their first time being fucked by a corporation. 

    1. hottjavascriptt reblogged this from relationshiphacks
    2. relationshiphacks reblogged this from fartsinlove
    3. fartsinlove reblogged this from fartsinlove and added:
      So, Google is buying Nest.